Watch what you say around the egg whites…..

You never know how long it'll last

Eat map who? Ewww, gross!

They make dollars, but they don't make sense.

Its not a dad joke if it includes fowl language.

“A Western journalist asked the Pakistani ISI, ‘Why do you protect terrorists?’ They said, ‘They’re strategic assets.’ He asked, ‘And what do they protect?’ ‘Our defense budget.’”

"Why?" "Exactly"

With da-bloons

We will be called 5 Moron's

A wealthy investment businessman purchases a box of 24 rare and expensive cigars. He gets them insured because of their value. About 2 years later, the man submits a claim to his insurance company stating he lost the cigars in a series of small fires. The adjuster tells him no problem, you can expect a visit from us within the week. A few days later, the insurance adjustor shows up at the man's house with 2 police officers. When the man answers the door, he says, "Well, I knew you'd be bringing a large amount of money with you, but I didn't expect you to have an armed escort." Then one of the police officers says to the man, "I think you misunderstand the situation. You're being charged with 24 counts of arson."

This is the biggest dick i have ever seen! Said my blind date. Turns out she was pulling my leg.